I am 6 years old, instead of focusing on my addition and subtraction I have been planning and plotting all day and now my moment has finally come. Dad comes home and I slyly walk up and muster up all the 6-year old, missing teeth, can’t pronounce my R’s adorableness possible and say “Daddy, I did really good at school today and I was wondering, since it’s Friday, if we could get pizza for dinner?” The joy I felt as I sprinted towards the phone so Dad could order the pizza was incomparable. 17 years later and nothing has changed. Nothing still brings me joy like pizza, and I know I’m not the only one. Through the ups and downs of life pizza has never left our sides. So here are 10 times we should all give pizza the props it truly deserves.
- Don’t Want to Cook
It’s been a long day filled with work, class, Netflix, or whatever it is that fills your day. You can no longer ignore the battle cries of your stomach but you can’t find the energy to do anything but stare at your borderline empty fridge. It’s times like these that pizza is a godsend. With one simple phone call you can get a full dinner (and maybe even tomorrows breakfast AND lunch) without doing any actual work. Pizza has saved you from many dinners of cheese and crackers, so props.
- The Morning After
Pizza wakes up like this: Flawless. There are those mornings where you wake up like you are waking from the dead. You have forgotten how to function. When you finally manage to get to your kitchen there is a little miracle waiting for you there. That cold, day old pizza brings you back to living life as a functional human. Double points to pizza if it is waiting for me next to my bed right when you wake up. You’re always looking out for me morning pizza, you’re the best.
- Networking Events/Call Out Meetings
Small talk. The slowest and most painful way to die. It is one of life’s necessary evils and in your young adulthood something you will experience a plethora of. The only thing that makes you able to ask a stranger what they do for a living one more time is the sweet promise of pizza being set up at the buffet. I feel as if it is safe to say that the presence of pizza is responsible for more than one gainful employments so we owe you one, pizza.
Parties never get old and pizza will never not be a hit at one. Planning a party can be stressful. You want to make sure everyone is having a good time and that people will only talk about your party in a good way. Whether you are 6 or 26 you can always count on pizza to ensure happy party guests. Thank you for your stability pizza.
- When Your Oven Betrays You
You have finally taken the plunge to invite someone over to your place to cook them dinner. This is the ultimate test to prove that you have the potential to be a real adult. It doesn’t matter if you are cooking for your family, friends, or significant other, the pressure is on. But what’s that you smell? Your oven has decided to burn everything. So now you have an inedible pasta bake and very hungry dinner guests. Have no fear, pizza is here. So although you may not have been able to prove your cooking skills, you did prove that you can still feed people. Props pizza for helping you chalk that one up as a win.
- Group projects
There is a very common and legal form of torture known as group projects. Group projects are the bane of your college and probably professional existence. How it is so hard for four people to work cohesively will never cease to amaze you. You look at your calendar and there it is glaring up at you, “Group project meeting.” It’s not for another six hours and you’re palms are already sweating. But then you remember, there will be pizza. You can do anything for pizza, even tolerate someone’s inability to correctly format a PowerPoint slide. Without pizza, your sanity would be long gone.
After a night out
Pizza should really considering changing its name to “Magical Alcohol Sham wow.” No matter how late you’ve been out or how many drinks you had, pizza is always there for you. It has magical powers that helps soak up the alcohol in your stomach to ensure functionality the next day. If you were throwing back Vegas bombs or chugging down beer, pizza is always a good idea. Thank pizza, for making it possible for you to make it to all those Friday morning classes you had. It would have been impossible without it.
- It’s Universal
Pizza can be gotten almost anywhere in the world. There are times in your travels where you don’t trust local cuisine or maybe have absolutely no idea what the menu says. But, you need to eat before you pass out from the weight from your stuffed-to-the-brim back pack. Pizza is always right around the corner. Pizza is an international language.
- Cheat Day
Cheat Day. A day that is accompanied by the soundtrack of a choir of angels. No matter the intensity of your diet there is always a cheat day. A cheat day is never wasted when it is spent with pizza. It reminds you that food is not mean, but that it is delicious. Pizza on cheat day is the light at the end of the bland food tunnel. So thank you pizza, for making promise of you make this kale salad bearable.
- Picking a Restaurant
Everyone can agree on pizza. You will never have the “Where do you want to go?” “I don’t care” conversation ever again! In the time it will take you to list every restaurant within a 20 miles radius, you could already be chowing down on some Zaaaa. Everyone is content with the choice of pizza and if someone is not, you may want to reconsider that friendship. Pizza deserves nothing but respect.