In Las Vegas, where I am, it does make a sound. It is a collective scream. The cabana of bros on my right let out a triumphant cry and fill the air with high fives and man hugs. The portly gentleman on my left screams in anguish and rips up his ticket, throwing it with all of his might into the air, watching it fall to the ground about 18 inches from his foot. The layup meant nothing, but in Vegas, where one team covers the spread and one team doesn’t, it meant everything. And, even though I was now holding a losing ticket, I was in heaven.
This weekend is the greatest time of the year. What man hasn’t dreamt of sitting down like a vegetable and doing nothing but watching every game of the first week of the tournament? Since I was 16 years old, I have planned my eventual vasectomy for the Wednesday before the tournament, inevitably leaving me sitting on top of a frozen bag of peas with a couple two tree Vicodins, enjoying the best days of the calendar year.
This isn’t like your typical office March Mayhem, where you hear Bill from three cubes over cry out in despair as he loses his second Elite 8 team of the morning. Sorry Bill, but what were you thinking when you had Towson in your Final Four? These people in Vegas are at least putting some money behind some random team that they probably know nothing about. And why is that? That’s right, the biggest thing about Madness in Vegas…
Drinks. Drinks make everything hazy. Drinks make you ready to put your hard earned money on the line on Albany to lose by less than 18 points, just because they have a senior point guard and you saw them on ESPN that one time in February. And drinks make you let everything ride when you win, because hey you’re in Vegas and hey look more drinks.
As I drank my way to a 2-10 evening, several questions ran through my head. I feel the best way to share them with you is through stream of consciousness, random thoughts exactly as they occurred me:
Alright brackets set let’s get this going baby!
Indiana put 5 teams in the tournament; I wonder what an individual state record is?
My God, did Georgia State beat Baylor… I’m ruined.
Should I parlay the elite eight?
Why did I bet on Purdue I’ve always hated Purdue.
Is Virginia the sleeper I always thought they were?
If I lose another game I’m letting it all ride on black.
Things could always be worse…
Things couldn’t be better!
I love sports
Notre Dame.. the Fighting Irish.. I went to Cathedral.. The fighting Irish.. Gimme $200 on ND it’s a sign.
Props to March Madness.